hey.
I kinda stole my title post off my friend Gloria's tweet. haha, seemed right as I'm writing this.
so yeah, exams are drawing near. tension is heating up. church stuff and responsibilities are piling up. life just doesnt seem to give us people a break. And yet, amidst all this.. tonight feels so quiet. there's this sense of peace about it that feels good ;)
haha, quiet and still moments like this every once in awhile helps. you should try it too :P
I've been doing my usual routines over the past few weeks or so. It's getting better, the hurt. Slowly but surely I know it'll fade away soon enough. 'Cause I know God is watching over me.. just as He is over you ;)
I went through our past conversations on SKYPE (if you don't know what this is, you better go get it now! :P) and I just reminisce on all those good times we shared. ahhh... its times like these that one should fill their thoughts with. Not all those damaging, discouraging, hurtful thoughts. Even though sometimes things might not work out the way we want it to be, there's always a good part to everything. Ponder on that, and you'll be alright :)
I remember writing something quite long ago.. about 'what if's. if things were done differently, what could've been? what would've been? what should've been? haha yeah.. going through this period again.
but looking at this as a whole, i'm truly grateful and lucky to be a part of her life. As someone special or even merely a friend.. never really got that out of my system. There will be people God put in your life for a reason, even if for reasons you might not understand. Be thankful because one day you'll look back and say..."I understand now."
Smile... as I always say. it helps.. ;)
that's all for now. till the next one people..
-darrenkhoo
signing out
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
What is is all about?
hi there...
yeah, i know. it's my second consecutive post in two days. quite the achievement huh? maybe because i've had loads of stuff in my head that the human mind just isnt big enough to store. So, my posts act as an external hard disk for me to store my thoughts else where.
So, back to the title of this post. I've come to know this one thing.
Everybody, like it or not, would have come to a point in life where you'd ask yourself.. "what is life actually all about?". Ever even for a second, paused in that one moment of silence and felt that everything you do just seemed not *all that important*? I wouldn't use the term insignificant. but yeah, you get the idea..
Recently, with all the trials and tribulations.. i've come across that feeling a few times. maybe that's one of the reasons also why I got closer to Him. No, i'm not an EMO boy or some would call it. Its just one of those phases where you need to get through and pray that you come out it unscathed.
Over the years of my life, I've developed friendships.. Good ones at that but every now and then. some of them seem to wither away either because of different schools, lifestyles, distances, relationships and whatnot that have drifted us apart. I guess that's how life is. But with each and everyone of them, we would always be on good terms.
In relation to the previous post.. yet again I've found another group of friends whom I felt really comfortable with. we shared joy and laughter.. memorable times they were. But as I had said before, silly things have caused us to break up. or rather just myself in this case. What was once the *four* of us, have now become the three of them and me. You ever get that before? The knowing that somehow in someway it just doesn't feel the same any more?
yeah, though we may deny it.. one cannot hide the fact that times have changed and it is a pity we've come to this point. I can't complain but only hope they're still having good times together, with or without me. It pains me sometimes to know i have to shut a part of me that's so important (they were three of the closest people to me).. for now, i can only pray that God.. maybe one day I will again find good companions such as themselves.
But, thank you... for the memories. I will hold them dear. I can only wish them the best in their lives. who knows? maybe one day our lives will cross again and we could share the same laughter we once had. Until then...
-darrenkhoo
signing out
yeah, i know. it's my second consecutive post in two days. quite the achievement huh? maybe because i've had loads of stuff in my head that the human mind just isnt big enough to store. So, my posts act as an external hard disk for me to store my thoughts else where.
So, back to the title of this post. I've come to know this one thing.
Everybody, like it or not, would have come to a point in life where you'd ask yourself.. "what is life actually all about?". Ever even for a second, paused in that one moment of silence and felt that everything you do just seemed not *all that important*? I wouldn't use the term insignificant. but yeah, you get the idea..
Recently, with all the trials and tribulations.. i've come across that feeling a few times. maybe that's one of the reasons also why I got closer to Him. No, i'm not an EMO boy or some would call it. Its just one of those phases where you need to get through and pray that you come out it unscathed.
Over the years of my life, I've developed friendships.. Good ones at that but every now and then. some of them seem to wither away either because of different schools, lifestyles, distances, relationships and whatnot that have drifted us apart. I guess that's how life is. But with each and everyone of them, we would always be on good terms.
In relation to the previous post.. yet again I've found another group of friends whom I felt really comfortable with. we shared joy and laughter.. memorable times they were. But as I had said before, silly things have caused us to break up. or rather just myself in this case. What was once the *four* of us, have now become the three of them and me. You ever get that before? The knowing that somehow in someway it just doesn't feel the same any more?
yeah, though we may deny it.. one cannot hide the fact that times have changed and it is a pity we've come to this point. I can't complain but only hope they're still having good times together, with or without me. It pains me sometimes to know i have to shut a part of me that's so important (they were three of the closest people to me).. for now, i can only pray that God.. maybe one day I will again find good companions such as themselves.
But, thank you... for the memories. I will hold them dear. I can only wish them the best in their lives. who knows? maybe one day our lives will cross again and we could share the same laughter we once had. Until then...
-darrenkhoo
signing out
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Another year
hey,
so I here I am again. two months since my last post. sigh, time passes so fast that I really didn't even get the time to pause and realize it.
So many things have happened this year. And yet, when I ask myself.."what's the one thing you have achieved from the past 10 months or so?" and honestly.. i didnt really know what to say. geez, is it gonna be like that every year? the feeling of not doing something worth while throughout the whole 365 days..
i mean im sure everyone must've done something within the year. but can you really stand up and proudly say.. "yeah, i've done that!". well, i would like to get the chance to say that one day. maybe the time hasn't exactly come yet but im sure it will. for you too if you haven't done so.
But looking back, it's been a good year. New friends, environment, people, activities, lifestyle, dramas, memorable experiences... they were great. I mean, amidst all the heartache and pitfalls along the way. it's truly been a blessing to have lived life as I have. I'm sure you do too.
Though I must say, I do have one regret this year.
No, it wasn't my inability and indiscipline to study during my first semester.
or that I almost achieved first place in all the three scrabble competitions i joined these year (which would've given me a total of rm 1600 :-O )
or that I disappointed so many people when I could've been so much more responsible towards myself and others..
or that I didn't spend more time with You. when I had stated I was gonna make more time for You.
I mean, there are regrets there but all of which I can still work on in the future and hopefully I do. Things that I can still change for the better.
But rather, what I really regret was letting go of something that I truly cared about. something God, You Yourself had so graciously allowed to enter into my life. There were words said.. things done that simply just needed to stop. But too foolish was I not to know it back then. Ever get that feeling? never realizing all the stupid things you do until its over.
By then, it would've been too late. I know I can't change things of the past, its a given fact. But I can still change the future while its still there. Yes, you would've probably guess it by now. It's a girl. oohh, how teen life has knocked me back and forth all these years.
So yeah, I can't remember feeling the same way for her with the previous ones. you know how there are times when you tend to compare. yeah, she's just different. in ways that with all the God given words in the English language, I just simply cannot describe. it was special. everything was set. it was perfect. we were perfect. and yet, I did everything humanly possible to mess everything up.
haha, some of us are lucky enough to not actually understand what im saying. but some aren't. at the end of it all, I'm just glad we're friends now. It would be a shame to lose someone's friendship over matters like this. And it makes me happy to see her happy. Hopefully, in time to come she will forgive me and we'll look back at this and have a good laugh about it. She deserves someone better for the beautiful girl that she is.. both inside and outside.. and she will find him some day.
gosh, this sounds like a very phail-ed movie scene.. my post title should be renamed... :P
haha. but sorry if I bored you with this. as they always say, LIFE GOES ON!
so, hopefully I end this chapter with a smile and open a new chapter to life. Parents suggesting me to go to US or UK, probably even next year. but thats a whole different story. i'll tell you guys the next time :)
hopefully you've done something in your life this year worth while. and something that you've learned, taking forward as you press on. I sure have.
till the next one peeps!
-darrenkhoo
signing out
so I here I am again. two months since my last post. sigh, time passes so fast that I really didn't even get the time to pause and realize it.
So many things have happened this year. And yet, when I ask myself.."what's the one thing you have achieved from the past 10 months or so?" and honestly.. i didnt really know what to say. geez, is it gonna be like that every year? the feeling of not doing something worth while throughout the whole 365 days..
i mean im sure everyone must've done something within the year. but can you really stand up and proudly say.. "yeah, i've done that!". well, i would like to get the chance to say that one day. maybe the time hasn't exactly come yet but im sure it will. for you too if you haven't done so.
But looking back, it's been a good year. New friends, environment, people, activities, lifestyle, dramas, memorable experiences... they were great. I mean, amidst all the heartache and pitfalls along the way. it's truly been a blessing to have lived life as I have. I'm sure you do too.
Though I must say, I do have one regret this year.
No, it wasn't my inability and indiscipline to study during my first semester.
or that I almost achieved first place in all the three scrabble competitions i joined these year (which would've given me a total of rm 1600 :-O )
or that I disappointed so many people when I could've been so much more responsible towards myself and others..
or that I didn't spend more time with You. when I had stated I was gonna make more time for You.
I mean, there are regrets there but all of which I can still work on in the future and hopefully I do. Things that I can still change for the better.
But rather, what I really regret was letting go of something that I truly cared about. something God, You Yourself had so graciously allowed to enter into my life. There were words said.. things done that simply just needed to stop. But too foolish was I not to know it back then. Ever get that feeling? never realizing all the stupid things you do until its over.
By then, it would've been too late. I know I can't change things of the past, its a given fact. But I can still change the future while its still there. Yes, you would've probably guess it by now. It's a girl. oohh, how teen life has knocked me back and forth all these years.
So yeah, I can't remember feeling the same way for her with the previous ones. you know how there are times when you tend to compare. yeah, she's just different. in ways that with all the God given words in the English language, I just simply cannot describe. it was special. everything was set. it was perfect. we were perfect. and yet, I did everything humanly possible to mess everything up.
haha, some of us are lucky enough to not actually understand what im saying. but some aren't. at the end of it all, I'm just glad we're friends now. It would be a shame to lose someone's friendship over matters like this. And it makes me happy to see her happy. Hopefully, in time to come she will forgive me and we'll look back at this and have a good laugh about it. She deserves someone better for the beautiful girl that she is.. both inside and outside.. and she will find him some day.
gosh, this sounds like a very phail-ed movie scene.. my post title should be renamed... :P
haha. but sorry if I bored you with this. as they always say, LIFE GOES ON!
so, hopefully I end this chapter with a smile and open a new chapter to life. Parents suggesting me to go to US or UK, probably even next year. but thats a whole different story. i'll tell you guys the next time :)
hopefully you've done something in your life this year worth while. and something that you've learned, taking forward as you press on. I sure have.
till the next one peeps!
-darrenkhoo
signing out
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