Another year

hey,

so I here I am again. two months since my last post. sigh, time passes so fast that I really didn't even get the time to pause and realize it.

So many things have happened this year. And yet, when I ask myself.."what's the one thing you have achieved from the past 10 months or so?" and honestly.. i didnt really know what to say. geez, is it gonna be like that every year? the feeling of not doing something worth while throughout the whole 365 days..

i mean im sure everyone must've done something within the year. but can you really stand up and proudly say.. "yeah, i've done that!". well, i would like to get the chance to say that one day. maybe the time hasn't exactly come yet but im sure it will. for you too if you haven't done so.

But looking back, it's been a good year. New friends, environment, people, activities, lifestyle, dramas, memorable experiences... they were great. I mean, amidst all the heartache and pitfalls along the way. it's truly been a blessing to have lived life as I have. I'm sure you do too.

Though I must say, I do have one regret this year.

No, it wasn't my inability and indiscipline to study during my first semester.

or that I almost achieved first place in all the three scrabble competitions i joined these year (which would've given me a total of rm 1600 :-O )

or that I disappointed so many people when I could've been so much more responsible towards myself and others..

or that I didn't spend more time with You. when I had stated I was gonna make more time for You.

I mean, there are regrets there but all of which I can still work on in the future and hopefully I do. Things that I can still change for the better.

But rather, what I really regret was letting go of something that I truly cared about. something God, You Yourself had so graciously allowed to enter into my life. There were words said.. things done that simply just needed to stop. But too foolish was I not to know it back then. Ever get that feeling? never realizing all the stupid things you do until its over.

By then, it would've been too late. I know I can't change things of the past, its a given fact. But I can still change the future while its still there. Yes, you would've probably guess it by now. It's a girl. oohh, how teen life has knocked me back and forth all these years.

So yeah, I can't remember feeling the same way for her with the previous ones. you know how there are times when you tend to compare. yeah, she's just different. in ways that with all the God given words in the English language, I just simply cannot describe. it was special. everything was set. it was perfect. we were perfect. and yet, I did everything humanly possible to mess everything up.

haha, some of us are lucky enough to not actually understand what im saying. but some aren't. at the end of it all, I'm just glad we're friends now. It would be a shame to lose someone's friendship over matters like this. And it makes me happy to see her happy. Hopefully, in time to come she will forgive me and we'll look back at this and have a good laugh about it. She deserves someone better for the beautiful girl that she is.. both inside and outside.. and she will find him some day.

gosh, this sounds like a very phail-ed movie scene.. my post title should be renamed... :P
haha. but sorry if I bored you with this. as they always say, LIFE GOES ON!

so, hopefully I end this chapter with a smile and open a new chapter to life. Parents suggesting me to go to US or UK, probably even next year. but thats a whole different story. i'll tell you guys the next time :)

hopefully you've done something in your life this year worth while. and something that you've learned, taking forward as you press on. I sure have.

till the next one peeps!
-darrenkhoo
signing out